7 Ungathered Fashion Trends to Avoid

Happy Friday Fashionistas! It's excellent to be back after a nice, restorative vacation last week. Having been rested and refreshed properly, and practiced self-care like the gathered lady that I am, I am ready to get on my game and solve the problems of the world. In that spirit, I am going to compliment Bree's 7 Heavenly Fashion Trends for Fall 2013 with the converse: 7 Ungathered Fashion Trends to Avoid (in no particular order). 

It is my opinion that in the absence of a highly organized and funded International Fashion Police agency, The Gathered Lady can make a "citizen's arrest" on the following list of faux pas. Not necessarily because these trends are ungathered in and of themselves, but because they are particularly difficult to pull off without looking like an ungathered poser. As in all things fashion, our advice is a guideline, but never an unbreakable rule. All instances of these trends being worn should be judged on a case by case basis. Just don't be surprised if people stop and point you get convicted of fashion crimes! 

1. Socks and Sandals. 

See? Makes NO difference what type of sandal you wear. Attempt at great risk of silent ridicule.This trend will never go away and is as old as time, and neither will the complaints from the visually victimized. And it doesn't matter what type of sandal you wear, or how young you are (unless you are in elementary school or something, and then your parents should be confronted). FYI, this was voted the worst fashion trend of 2013 in the UK this year. Apparently it's a plague over there. Let's stop the outbreak now folks and cancel this one. Leave this one on the runway and back away slowly. 

2. Graphic Leggings.

^^What you think you look like. What you ACTUALLY look like.^^MMkay. I think the pic above says it all. Graphic leggings are a fashion trap of sorts. It seems like it's going to be a fun, dramatic statment piece, and then it morphs into this hard to match fashion challenge. Trust me, I fell for this one (but DID NOT leave my house!). Not to mention that if you're not a 2-dimensional airbrushed model photo and happen to be a human being, you will have to deal with the problem of 3-dimensional subcutaneous fat deposits -- aka muffin top, jelly rolls, cellulite, and baby back ribs. We advise caution here. Discretion is the better part of valor. Live to fight another day and stop scaring babies in strollers. 

3. Overalls/Shortalls. 

Every single person in this collage looks like they just wandered in out of the cabbage patch.This trends shows a disturbing zombie-esque ability to raise from the dead. As this one is a personal pet peeve of mine (I had a long overall phase in my fashion-challenged past), there is not enough bad to say about it. Don't do it. Unless you're headed to the Fall Harvest Festival in character as a rube. Even with heels and jewelry -- this is one that is impossible to dress up unless the overalls are made from a different material than the usual denim.  This trend is for fashion virtuosos only --  and even then you could make the worst dressed list! 

4. Power Clashing 

You could easily look like a truant clown. Refrain. This trend is another trap, and it reminds me a lot of the pinterest paradox or the "easy" home improvement projects shown on HGTV. It all looks so easy... until you attempt to repeat said outcome! Even with detailed instructions, the power clash is a delicate balance best left to the runway and professional personalities unless you know what you're doing and there is an appropriate occasion to rock this one. (Hint: Work is never a good place for power clashing unless you want to power clash with a pink slip, especially if you interact clients or customers. Fashion and entertainment industry fashionistas are exempt from this rule, but should still use extreme caution.)

5. Pajamas, Rollers, Silky Caps, Slippers, and other Nonsense as Activewear

There are no words. Go to your home immediately. Fashionistas, as obvious as this one is, it's something that I have to deal with in this list becase far too many people out in the world are guilty of this. A little public shaming could go a long way here, if you ask me. I also find it unforgiveable that Hollywood sometimes plays around with this, which encourages the People of Walmart types that are more normally guilty of this. Shame on all of you! Go home and put on some shoes, brush/comb that hair, and put on some actual clothes. The world is not your living room! Groom thyself immediately! 

6. Harem pants, Hammer pants, drop-crotch... oh my!

Who really looks good in these? I demand to know: who looks good in these? I'm of the opinion that they don't really flatter any body type. Also, for the skinny types that do get away with it, what do you do with all that extra space in the free poopy pouch included in the back? These confuse me, and I'm not the only one not dreaming of Jeannie with this damn pants. Use caution- these pick up right where gaucho pants left off! And I don't know about ya'll, but gaucho pants turned me from hottie to Horton-hears-a-who in 0.5 seconds flat. #sideeye

7. High-Wasted Denim Shorts 

A denim gamble.I struggled with whether to list these. They can be fab, and often are... on the right body type. Unfortunately, my eyes do not deceive me that there is a plague of people not able to determine whether these shorts can be a part of a healthy balanced wardrobe. Being some retro combo of a stovepipe pant and a mini short makes them intriguing, but they bring the cons of those clothing items along with the pros. I see scores of women out there wearing ill-fitting, too-tight shorts that muffin up top, wedge in the bottom, and roll in between the thighs. These things will have you doing that yank 'em dance every time ya'll! Look before you leap! Prefereably in the mirror with a dose of reality. 

Well there you are. Practice caution with all of these trends, and you can't fail to be a gathered lady. And tell your friends! 

Are there any ungathered trends we've missed? Email or facebook us and share them! 

Shameless Plug: Afropunk Fest 2013

Vintage Trouble performing at Afropunk Fest 2013.As the title indicated, this is going to be a shameless plug. Over the weekend, I attended Afropunk Fest, which is an alternative music fest run by the good folks in charge of Afropunk.com. The festival was amazing, with names like Theophilus London, Chuck D, Le1f, Saul Williams and many others performing. I, however, wasn't in Commodore Barry Park in Brooklyn solely for my own enjoyment. Instead, I spent much of the festival doing interviews for a story, which ran in The Wall Street Journal on Tuesday. So, please go read about why all the cool kids were at Afropunk Fest this weekend. And if you want to see what all those cool kids were wearing (because, come on, we always want to see the fashion) take a look at this slideshow put together by the New York Times weekend Fashion & Style team.

7 Heavenly Fashion Trends... for Fall 2013!

As September is knocking on our door, we need to be prepared for the fashion industry's favorite season: Fall. It's a great time to pull out all of your fashion pieces and layer up. Fall fashion separates the average from the truly fashionable. Fall and Winter fashion take effort and savvy to coordinate while remaining functionally warm and visually stylish. So, we've decided to help you by picking our top 7 trends for fall 2013.

Don't worry, some of these trends you already have in your closet since they've been hot almost year round like leather and emerald. Other note worthy trends that didn't make the cut were shades of blue, army & military inspired, plaids, and knit hats. Overall, I'm noticing strong structural elements to all of the new Fall 2013 trends. Clean lines and sophisticated colors and patterns. Very Olivia Pope. Check out and let us know what you think in the comments section, Instagram, or Facebook.

1. 50 Shades of Gray
2. Crazy Big Coats
3. Suit Up
4. Leather Love
5. Thigh High Boots
6. Winter White
7. Emerald Green

Summer is almost over! We've decided to take a little vacation. Check back this Saturday for a Fashion Mash Up and check out Instagram for our fashionlust item of the day! Next week we'll be bringing you all of the hot Fall 2013 fashion and tips you need to transition into September. Stay Gathered!

7 Heavenly Oils for Beauty

Happy Friday Fashionistas! As you might have noticed from Bree's post and Charity's review on Monday and Wednesday, The Gathered Lady is all about beauty this week. And I don 't know about you guys, but these girls are amazing! I went to Walgreens last night on a last minute hair product junkie-fueled spree, and their beauty tips were in my mind. I walked out of there with not one, not two, but three of their suggested beauty products, and just barely avoided the makeup aisle where I knew I would find those amazing lip colors that Bree spilled about. #nowillpowerhere

To that end, I went to my own lil' treasure trove of secrets, and the most valuable thing that I decided to share with you is the MOST universal beauty power product of all time (which I am a great fan and user of): oil. Why oil, do you ask? Well: 

1. It's Natural. For all concerned about chemicals, carcinogens, perfumes, dyes, and all things not naturally occuring in nature, be soothed. All the oils perfect for your beauty needs are naturally occuring oils from plants growing in nature. Other oils are herb-infused plant-based oil. 

2. It's Universal. No matter what your culture is, where you live, or your race, women all over the world since the beginning of time have used oil in their beauty rituals. Unless you are not from earth. In which case I say... nanu-nanu?  

3. A Million Types. A Million Uses. There are literally hundreds of oils that have beauty applications. Some are rare, some are positively ubiquitous. Some are sitting in your kitchen cabinet right now, just waiting for you to realize that they would just do wonders for your hair's shine, your cuticle's softness, or your hormonal acne. Wake up! Transfer some of that stuff from the kitchen to the bathroom and enlarge your beauty arsenal. 

4. It's Cheap. For the most part. One of the best things about oils is that they are mostly cheap, especially when you consider: a) the comparative cost between synthetic beauty products, b) the fact that most of them are wonderful for hair, skin, and nails all at once, c) you can add small amounts of oils to many of your existing products to increase their effectiveness, and d) you can make many many infused oils at home!

You wanna look like this, dontcha?

Have I convince you yet? Great! Now, with a million types and uses I want to stick to the ones that I can vouch for (which also happen to be some of the most well-known, versatile, widely available, and cheapest ones).  So here are my 7 heavenly oils for beauty: 

Extra-Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)

•  Cold-pressed, fresh oil 
• Moderate odor (easily disappears when mixed with other products) 
• Great as a sealant/lubricant for hair, skin, nails 
• Excellent to mix into other products to increase moisturizing effect
• These oil infuses other herbs easily and wonderfully. 
• Also useful for medicinal purposes (poultice, heat pack, oil pulling)

Coconut Oil

•  Not enough can be said about this oil, which happens to be the most like the natural oils produced by human skin and therefore able to penetrate the skin and hair shaft like no other. 
• Great for direct application to the skin. 
• Mixes a million ways for hair and skin products. 
• Hair staple -- mixes with other oils and shea butter for an amazing deep conditioner.
• More pleasant flavor alternative for oil pulling. 

Castor Oil

•  Besides its laxative effect when ingested that your granny might use, this oil has miraculous, regenerative growth properties. Direct application to eyebrows, eyelashes, and damaged hair causes thickening and re-growth (I'm an eye-witness to this one!).
• Great for wrinkles, cracked heels, skin moles, and stretch marks! 
• Amazing deep conditioning and thickening properties for hair. Plays well with coconut and EVOO in the same treatment, if you like. :) 
• Also is sometimes used successfully as a cleanser for the face in lieu of soap and water.
• Jamaican Black variety is more raw form for even more hair and skin growth properties.

Jojoba Oil

• Amazing light oil for the hair and skin.
• Can be used as a great massage oil. 
• Tames flyaways and adds shine without weighing hair down. My hair loves this oil for styling! 
• This one can be used as a "carrier oil" to seal in other skin products and deliver their healthful ingredients deeper into the skin layer.

Argan Oil

• Comes from the a specific area of Morocco only. This one is rarer, but becoming more popular and can be found in more and more places. 
• Argan Oil is great for the hair as a styling and finishing oil. 
• Great for the face -- mask, toner, lip moisturizer. 
• A few drops of this oil go a long way (especially since the pure oil is more expensive)

Amla Oil 

•  A favorite of mine! Indian Ayurvedic amla is sold in both an oil and powder form. I far prefer the oil. Also this is sold as both an "Amla" and an "Amla Lite". I use the Amla Lite from Dabur with great results. 
• Amla has a strong scent which you may or may not like. 
• This oil has darkening and thickening properties, and Indian women have been using this oil for centuries to get rid of their grey along with henna. Amla can change your henna color (deepen) among other things. 
• Amla is said to combat lice and dandruff.
• It will bring a ratty weave or wig back from the dead <-- Yes I went there. Yes, from experience.

Tea Tree Oil 

•  The uses of tea tree oil for cleaning and medicine are more than well-documented. But that anti-bacterial, anti-fungal powerhouse oil is also useful to your beauty regimen for the same reason. 
• Very little of this oil goes a LONG way. In its most concentrate form, using to much directly on the skin will cause burns. (Something I have done in my zeal for this holy grail product! Learn from me! Save yourselves!)
• Perfect for adding to homemade conditioners, spritzers and mixers. 
• Dandruff, nail fungus, acne... none are a match for a few drops of tea tree oil applied regularly! 
• Tea Tree Oil is functional and aromatic. It has aromatherapy properties that make it a good bath additive or massage oil additive. 

And just because I'm a champ, I've put together this handy chart for you guys! 

Well what do you guys think? Have I sent you running off to the kitchen, the store, Whole Foods, or to the conveniently located olive tree in the backyard to buy some oils today? I hope so. Before you get into using these oils, do a bit of googling and reading for yourself, and you'll see that my list here is just the tip of the iceerg on oil types themselves, as well as uses for the ones that I wrote about. Share your thoughts, opinions and findings with us by email and facebook!